#spiritairlines : 18x14X8 Me: #challengeaccepted #chicago #thingsorganizedneatly

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June 21, 2017
“Hello? Still there?” “Yes he’s coming. He has MS and moves slowly. He wants to talk to you” I just got over 5 minutes. That’s 5 minutes they aren’t spamming you or anyone else. You’re welcome. #commongood

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April 27, 2017
My God is the only God who wasn’t furious and vengeful when he came back from the dead. His peace is as amazing as His Dad’s power.

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April 16, 2017
This is the worst ball pit ever, dad!!! #MansonFamilyProblems

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April 3, 2017
Gratituous baby photos

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March 27, 2017
My wife’s bacon has #rightangles. #stillinlove

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March 25, 2017
#Secretingredients to a #happymarriage found at your local @costco.

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February 27, 2017
#herculean #feats / #dadjobs test #lawsofphysics / #noroomforpeople | #hashtaghaiku

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February 25, 2017
#BloodyMary Brunch / #WetNoses and #ChappedRedLips / #Snuggles that #MakeMeBlush #haiku #hashtaghaiku #snowday #stillinlove #hyattsville #epiphany

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January 7, 2017
May 2015 vs. Today. And that second photo is after I had already dropped 10lbs… #dubchallenge #50lbs #twokids #postnuptualweightgain #sympathyweight #noexcuses #dematha #mrp

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December 17, 2016
Soaked the baby clothes before washing, found half a pound of chicken breast! #polloalaoxyclean

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December 12, 2016
I’m getting ready for my first social media selfie but wife’s works seem more prescient

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December 10, 2016
#dematha

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Sweet, fecund and mild / best enjoyed raw and wild / persimmons and m’lady #haiku

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November 21, 2016
Got my $ right before Election Day… Planning on some big ZIMUSD swings so I can cash out this 500 Trillion dollar bill and buy a castle, eat unlimited White Castle, and jetset like @mgantman… Once gave $100 trillion and a beat tape to Egon and #Madlib at a show in Rome…they never called. @stonesthrowdjs

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November 6, 2016
#blindedbythelight

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November 1, 2016
I broke my phone this week and when it happened I shouted, “NOBODY may use my phone to text anymore.” It’s like it helped the pain.

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October 17, 2016

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October 9, 2016
My Instagram feed is all Stevie Wonder vinyl and this is nice but I need some friends who are less like me.

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September 29, 2016
All hail #pythagoras

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September 27, 2016
Please petition St. Benedict to keep safe the monks and all Norcians.

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August 24, 2016
Hands up if you ever fell asleep eating yogurt. #Yogurtitis

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August 22, 2016
This piece of salmon looks like the state where I am right now!

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August 7, 2016
Have you ever drank beer with hops you grew? Me neither, but I know uh ghey… #greenthumbbrewing

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July 17, 2016
From Ted Kliman exhibit at #SoHy #Hyattsville

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July 14, 2016